


Best friend babysitters

by ithefandomtrash



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: IM A GENERAL WEE, Other, basically alexander has a break down of sorts, im not sure how to tag that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-21 04:49:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6038704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ithefandomtrash/pseuds/ithefandomtrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alexander feel's like he's a burden and begans to have a break down of sorts so his friends rush over.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Best friend babysitters

Alex wonders sometimes if he’s a burden. He has to be Alexander reasons. Who else has friends that have to remind them to sleep and eat. Who else has friends dragging them away from the computer after three days of non-stop work? Who else makes friends worry as much as he does? Alex dwarfs himself in the dark blue hoodie, for once sitting in silence with only the harsh glare of the computer to keep him company. He doesn’t want to bother them anymore. He wants to change himself to something that people actually like. Something people can stand. He wiggles the mouse just because he’s afraid to be left in the dark. John had brought him ramen hours ago, telling him to eat and relax. Hercules had texted him reminding him he needed sleep. Lafayette the same an hour later. Alex took the ramen and brought the spoon to his lips, thinking-no knowing that John was right. He winced at the cold and that’s what set him off. Tears started to well in his eyes and he couldn’t stop the way his shoulders shook, the lump quickly forming in his throat. 

TO:revboi’s

A:You guys aren’t my friend’s  
A:You’re my Goddamned babysitter

Alex knew as he typed the words out that he’d get back lash for it but it’s how he felt while he sat curled in his bean bag chair crying over cold ramen and the fact that he was utterly incapable of taking care of himself. He curled his knees to his chest while his friends began to respond.

J:woh wheres that comin from dude????

H:man don’t say that course were friends

L:little lion what has you down :(

Alex didn’t know if he wanted to cry from their kindness or get angry. 

H:do you need us to come over?

A:no, that would only prove my point, im a fucking baby man that cant take care of himself so he makes people do it for him

L:hush now alex you know thats not true

J:no alex you dont make us do shit

H:again we can come over we love ya man

L:i second that

J:and i third it.

 

Alex covered his mouth with both hands, when did he start rocking himself? He had just noticed he was rocking back and forth. His lungs hurt and a migraine was starting in the center of his forehead. The texts kept coming.

J:alexander come on answer do you need us to come over or not?

L:we’ll be there in five minutes at most alex

H:alex its okay buddy

He was weak.

A:pleadse

He never had a name for what he was in these situations. He knew it wasn’t anxiety or panic. Just this overwhelming breakdown but on the same hand he doubted it was a true mental break down. 

 

L:alex breath, deep breaths were on the way we love you

God how his heart twisted at the words. He hated the battle inside of himself. His heart saying his friends were right they cared and loved him, he wasn’t a bother or burden and they didn’t keep him around because they felt they had to. While the whole of his brain fought and said he was useless, he contributed nothing to their lives he was a pain in the ass and should leave them alone to live a real life. 

True to their words John Hercules and Lafayette were all there in a matter of five minutes, Alexander after finally working out how to breath starting to calm down enough to talk. Alex winced as the lights kicked on. Guilty twisted in Alexander’s at the sight of a duffle bag carried over Hercules shoulder. Lafayette plopped down on a pillow next to the bean bag, arms wrapping around his friend. “Breathing?” Alexander nodded and dispite himself leaned into the fimilar figure. “You smell like sex.”   
“You know I’ve never understood the phrase, what the Hell does sex smell like?” John quipped as he settled on the couch and pulled Alexanders bean bag closer to the couch. “So what’s wrong man? What got you so upset.” Hercules wiped at the tear tracks on Alexander’s cheeks. “Honestly? I tried drinking my ramen and it was cold and i broke.” Alexander gave a mirthless laugh. “It was hot when I dropped it off.”  
"It was, five hours ago when you dropped it off, not so much half an hour ago when I tried drinking it.”  
John rolled his eyes and grabbed the Styrofoam bowl and poured it into a real one. “Well hot ramen comin’ up.”  
Hercules threw a blanket down onto the floor which Alex wrapped around himself the extra weight from the blanket comforting. “You know you aren’t a burden to us little lion.”  
“Can we talk about this tomorrow? When I haven’t just finished crying like a baby over cold food because apparently that's the tip of the iceberg.” Alex closed his eyes and nuzzled into Lafayette.   
“Oui…”

“Hot ramen mamen comin’ through.”

“You realize making up words doesn’t count as rhyming right?”

“Shhh.”

Hercules pulled blankets and pillows out from the duffle bag. “What are we watching tonight?” Lafayette and Hercules cuddled Alex on either side while John took the couch and ran his fingers through Alex’s air. “That scare Pewdiepie shit.” Lafayette crawled over to the T.V. hooking his laptop up and bringing up the videos before returning to Alexander’s side. As Alex began to fall asleep he was struck by the feeling of security he felt laying with his friends practically huddled around him. The love he felt with Lafayette holding his hand, Hercules resting his head in Alex’s lap, John’s fingers in his hair. “I love you guys.” Alex mumbled as he slipped into sleep. "Love you too." Was unisoned among the three other men. Alex they would admit was a handful to be friends with, always bouncing from projects forgetting he was important and mattered to those around him. But he was also a brilliant sarcastic scheme making goof that had made their lives all the brighter by just entering it. Lafayette John and Hercules saw themselves as the lucky ones.

**Author's Note:**

> S'il vous plaît=please


End file.
